@jwoodham: Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species.
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@JohnLyonTweets: So the waiter said "The plate is hot" and I said "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.
@briangaar: Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire.
@ObscureGent: Anonymous just switched everyone in Isis from Amazon Prime shipping to basic shipping. Good luck getting Fallout 4 by Christmas terrorists!