@jwoodham: Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species.
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@trentistweeting: Why hello, dear! "trent, did you bring cue cards to read off of during our date?" Lovely weather! "and did you only bring two?" Why hello, d
@GetCougarized: I'm not only the woman your Mother warned you about, I'm the one your Father highly recommended.
@djdarrellripley: Him: This is an awful Thanksgiving meal... The turkey is touching the green beans! Me: It's not what you think, they're just friends.
@bea_ker: Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a "thirsty boy"