@my_minivan_life: Muffins - for people who don't have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
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@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
@AtticusFinch79: *takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants
@heatherlou_: My boss said if I tried to take Friday off, I could just take the rest of the year off so that's kinda neat.