@LucybelleH: Mum, that's not a picture of Jesus
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@SirEviscerate: *dumps more fleas on my head* *sits back down in front of chimpanzee* So, anyway, like I was saying...
@susie_meister: If we eliminated, "Is your car running ok?" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak.
@SortaBad: I have a friend who doesn't drink coffee, so to stay alert at work he gets a healthy amount of sleep each night. What a loser
@SondraDeeMe: [Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets.