@Kyle_Lippert: Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*
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@Reverend_Scott: Son, it's ur 18th birthday, so I got u a brand new car... "OMG DAD. WOW-" ...dboard box. "But-" Pack up, ur moving out birthday boy.
@looktothepickle: Her: are you even listening? I said I'm breaking up with you! Me: *biting my burger into a Batman symbol* na na na na na na na na BUR-GERR!
@PowKapowBoom: My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first.