@shkeeber: Mummies are basically just zombie burritos.
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@Kilgore_Studge: I always write "boing" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go.
@YeahDrewisOn: Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!
@PeachyPixel8: The greatest trick The Devil ever pulled was NOT letting his friends and family know he was good with computers.
@krisv_723: Sometimes when I'm driving I'm overcome with an urge to run into an overpass pillar. Anyway, I'm Kris & I'll be your Uber driver.