@shkeeber: Mummies are basically just zombie burritos.
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@seamusmckracken: If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest.
@envydatropic: Like my nana used to always say, "screen shots say more about the person sharing them than anything else"
@Thomas_Lull: Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get.
@QwertyJones3: "My brother's coming over for dinner." Ugh, is he still talking only in country names? *brother walks in* "Chad Hungary. Jamaica Turkey?"