@AlexvanBeek: Murder is like art, as long as you can bullshit your way into justifying it, someone out there will be like "oh yeah, I totally get it."
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@_SingleBabyMama: Some girls look like they've barely broken a sweat after hot yoga while I look like a tomato that's been doused by a fire hose.
@KKAlThani: An alarm clock that sends the person you like one of your deleted mirror pictures every time you hit the snooze button.
@michael_raphone: Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'. Sorry about your dad, though