@AnOrangeSNES: "Murder most fowl!" I scream as the cops pull me away from the many duck corpses. They explain I misunderstood Hamlet while arresting me.
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@NicestHippo: [college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?
@GrantTanaka: ok kids, this is a smoke detector, if you hear it beeping change the battery, if it's still beeping, check to see if ur on fire
@ElleOhHell: If Wonder Woman and Spider-Man go into business together, they should call it Amazon Web Services.