@KalvinMacleod: [murders Aquaman with some super absorbent paper towels]
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@SardonicTart: Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him
@jake_likes_naps: Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk
@AimeeHelene1: Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B.