@magsaidwhat: "Musically,I was inspired by the fax machine." - Nicki Minaj
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@Coolisiana: (Date) "What's wrong?" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer "Aw how cute!!" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*
@therealeatwood: [I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do
@SCbchbum: Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work.