@kv8: Must suck to see your ex getting married. I wouldn't know, all mine have died in mysterious, firey car crashes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@Kimgee8: Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust.
@stephenjmolloy: Waiter: "I'm afraid your credit card has been declined." Me: "Try this one." W: "This is a blood donor card." M: "Take as much as you need."
@darrinfb: I just found a halloween candy on my lawn and ate it. So I guess I AM able to live off the land if I ever needed to.