@kumailn: Mustaches are the eyebrows of the lower face lol. Now that I have your attention, climate change is a real problem whether we see it or not.
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@qwertying: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
@MindyFurano: Flipped over my therapist's writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with "shut up" written in every blank.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can you do what you want at work? Me: No, I have to listen to my boss. 4: Mom is at your work?
@LoveNLunchmeat: I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy.