@kumailn: Mustaches are the eyebrows of the lower face lol. Now that I have your attention, climate change is a real problem whether we see it or not.
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@abbycohenwl: Watch me get this baby up to 90 miles per hour! - inventor of the baby catapult minutes before he was arrested
@roostermustache: Me (in jail): hey officer these bars are made of iron, not nickel Cop: ya so what Me: so it's a nickel-less cage Cop:*macing me* son of a
@huntigula: [at aquarium] "Kids, the blowfish is named bc of its cheeks" BLOWFISH: [taps glass] actually that's a common misconception, got any cocaine?