@dxblarssonENG: Mute the voices in your head by eating really crunchy food.
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@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: I want u to be more spontaneous ME: ok [later] ME: *hides in closet with goalie mask on waiting for her to walk by*
@WilliamAder: Auto-correct turned "likeable" into "lickable" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation.
@Smooheed: If you've ever wondered what it's like to try to dress a jelly fish, here, try to get pants on my toddler