@behindyourback: My 1 yr old only says the words "no," "mine," and "bye" and I tried it out and it turns out that's actually all you need.
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@JosesLovesYou: Sometimes I loiter outside of Victoria's Secret just so people think I have a girlfriend.
@michaelianblack: As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku.
@KPsych29: I always wear black. That way I'm ready, at any given moment, for an impromptu night out or your funeral, whatever.