@IamEnidColeslaw: my 10 year high school reunion is in August which means I have 2 months to lose 40 pounds and get engaged to Michael Cera
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@Dr_awfulpants: Congratulations on "obtaining" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge.
@UncleDuke1969: Inspirational Tweet: Found the sock gone missing 7 weeks ago in today's clean laundry. Sometimes they come back, people. Keep the faith.