@Leslie_Annie: My 10 yr old daughter was saying how stressful life is but she did add "well, at least I've managed to go 10 years without drinking"
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@DaddyJew: My dog asked what it was like to be human, so I told him that talking was a good start.
@flashember: Meow meow meow [Wife comes home early] MEOW! *cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack* THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU
@CrystalMoon214: Am I the only one who gives people in my neighborhood names they don't know they have? a.k.a. "Running Man","Mustang Bob", "Blue truck dude"