@partlyfunny: My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works.
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@FrenulumBreve: [homocide scene] DETECTIVE:"my god, in my 25 years on the force i've never seen a dead ghost." COP:"sir?, we covered the body with a sheet."
@scorpicpanda: Actually, letting your dog run around the yard while wearing your Fitbit increases the numbers waaaaay better than putting it on your cat.