@partlyfunny: My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works.
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@panmidwest: [Calling concert venues across the country] Hi yes, I'm just calling to let you know that on your website you spelled "weekend" incorrectly
@dyldonot: Baa! "My name is--" Moo! "My name is--" Neigh! "My name is *chickenchicken* Slim Shady." -Eminem at a farm.
@sixfootcandy: Librarian: Shhh! Me: Shh! Librarian: Shh! Me: Shh! Librarian: *glares at me* Me: Look lady, I can do this all day.