@DavidJuurlink: My 13 y.o. son told me that when he hits 99 pounds, he wants to eat one pound of nachos on his own so he can be 1% nacho.
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@daemonic3: [robbing Whole Foods] "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok? "Yes!" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag
@KentWGraham: I wish I could be like my cable company’s customer service line and make people press 37 different numbers before they can talk to me.
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to "please pull up to the window."