@lemmywinkler: My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!
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@JonasPolsky: Getting white carpet installed, then inviting everyone over for a spaghetti sauce and red wine party.
@BuckyIsotope: The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant.
@GrandadJFreeman: If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first