@lemmywinkler: My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Eats Her Feelings Julie'.
@just1fool: My daughter asked me if it was illegal to be blind which tells me I didn't explain "legally blind" very well.
@TweetingDadGuy: Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said "I Love My Grand-dog" and I think l'm going to be ok.