@_notyourmom_: My 13 year old doesn't speak when she picks up the phone. She just listens and hangs up. I think she's going to be a hitman someday.
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@daemonic3: Hey girl, do you like bad boys? [drinks milk from carton] Or REALLY bad boys? [eats spoonful of yogurt one day after expiration date]
@LindaInDisguise: Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google.
@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."