@_notyourmom_: My 13 year old doesn't speak when she picks up the phone. She just listens and hangs up. I think she's going to be a hitman someday.
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@Stexcy: Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
@iamspacegirl: [Date Night] I poured us a bubble bath. Him: *sigh* is it Sprite again? *sipping seductively from tub with a krazy straw*: Just get in.
@AaronFullerton: I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, "It's not your fault."