@TheMichaelRock: My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
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@YourAnMoron: Judge "Why are you divorcing her?" Me "She changed the station during Bohemian Rhapsody." J "You get half her stuff." *air guitar solo*
@EJGomez: me: grandma u cant believe every article on facebook also me:[reads thread on twitter] ok avril lavigne has definitely been dead since 2003
@daemonic3: Rather than vote, let's all fill out the 29 dimensions of what we want in a president and let eHarmony decide.
@AndyAsAdjective: If you love something, set it free If you hate something, do origami If you're hungry, go watch a movie I don't understand how advice works