@Jermaine_Accram: My "15 minutes of fame" are when I get my paycheck and everyone I owe money comes to collect
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.
@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*
@weinerdog4life: We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and spiders, and bears, and scientists, and scientists creating spider bears, and science bears