@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror.
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@RickAaron: In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
@mysteryteacher: Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody.
@useful_wagon: Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras