@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror.
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@jsteele3966: So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
@ShortSleeveSuit: HR: Alright people, let's be a little more sensitive to Linda bc she's pregnant with child Sally [who is pregnant with a hedgehog]: *sigh*
@Cunda22: Don't ever mistake me for someone who hasn't flirted with danger. I've got bitten by a Penguin. Twice.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire