@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror.
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@Hect0rMayorga: They offered me money to promote a product in my Twitter account, but my dignity is strong, as Axion "The true grease stain remover"
@PoblicMenace: If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer.
@Vodkantots: At this point in my life, my biological clock isn't so much ticking as it is knitting.
@dafloydsta: Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys.