@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The odds of Jesus coming a second time are about the same as those of ANY man coming a second time. #amirightladies
@jonnysun: ALADDIN: i can show you the world JASMINE: wat why. do u kno that there are people out there. why do u think we live ina palace. no thank u
@wickedsuga: Him: I just want a stable relationship. Me: Yeah, horses are cool. Him: ........ Flirting is hard, you guys.