@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's crash headfirst into this guy going 80 mph's windshield.
@suzieQ0007: My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands.
@tigersgoroooar: Not going to any more weddings or funerals. Please keep that in mind, friends who are considering getting married or dying.
@whatmaddness: Me: hi. I'm maddie. I'm ready to overeat, anonymously Overeaters Anonymous leader: you've misunderstood