@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror.
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@dshack8: Bummed cuz parents wont send their kids to my resort that teaches how to pay attention. I thought "Concentration Camp" would be a gold mine.
@ConanOBrien: One time I wore my brother's t-shirt, and my dad asked if I was dressing up as his favorite child for Halloween.