@Brianhopecomedy: My 3 year old is helping me make crepes this morning. So far in the mixing bowl there are 2 eggs, 1 cup of flour and 1 measuring cup.
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@NinjaFuneral: I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures.
@RickAaron: I had a fountain drink at the mall today. All those pennies make the water taste terrible.
@ceejoyner: A solid knife fighting strategy is to move clockwise in increasingly larger circles until you reach a safe running distance.