@novicefather: My 3yo just told me that he loves to make babies and I don't know what it means but I'm terrified.
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@ddsmidt: HR: People are complaining that you find ways to appear superior to them. [chair elevated to highest position] Me: That’s just ridiculous.
@sucittaM: Tell the guy at the first drive-thru window that you want the guy at the second window to throw your food into the car without you stopping.
@Quartzjixler: I know this place will prepare my taxes competently--they have a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty waving at passersby. -no one ever