@novicefather: My 3yo just told me that he loves to make babies and I don't know what it means but I'm terrified.
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@tinatbh: people: u should smile me: not unless u deposit 2 million dollars in my bank account thanks
@ehchino: [first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous "That's okay" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*
@BlindChow: [In the beginning, God created the heavens and earth...] EARTH: yo GOD: what? EARTH: send nudes GOD: *creates Adam & Eve* EARTH: nice