@sammyrhodes: My 3yr old pooped her big girl panties at church today and I forgot the wipes, in case you were feeling bad about being single today.
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@WheelTod: Julian Assange became a role model for hackers worldwide by crashing at a friend's place indefinitely & never paying his share of any bills.
@TheHyyyype: WIFE: it's your turn to change the baby. he left you a little present haha ME: *opens diaper* how the hell did he get an x box in there??
@horacedodge: Dance like no one is watching. Email it like it might be read aloud one day in front of a Jury.