@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old and I are having an argument. I'm telling him that he is making me late for work and he's telling me that he is Batman.
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@Beatonm5: someone explain to me 72 hour protection deodorants and antiperspirants. If you bathe everyday, that like defeats the whole purpose right??
@Gowitty: Evening News is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
@LifeUnPinterest: My kids are scream-fighting because one pretend-ate all of the toy food, in case you wanted to know why some parents drink.
@JediGigi: Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Ryan Gosling? Him: Me? No, but thank- Me: Ok just making sure.