@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old is handing me one grape to wash at a time so breakfast should be served around midnight.
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@Smooheed: According to HR, the boss can come into my office eating a kebab when I've only had an apple for lunch but I can't throw my chair at him
@Jake_Vig: Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct.
@That_Damn_Duck: You block or unfollow me because I follow or retweet someone you don’t like. Kindergarten called & said you left your maturity level there.