@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old told me to just turn the tire around as the top part isn't flat. I don't care if it's wrong - that's still some great logic.
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@causticbob: Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?
@Procaffinator: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping and the other third making viral videos.
@AndrewNadeau0: ME:You wanna come in? VAMPIRE:Oh, can’t, vampire M:Unless I invite you V:Oh…you know about that M:Yeah, you can- V:It’s just…I’m super busy…