@SuperShourds: My 4 year told me my tummy looks soft and squishy today, so I put her barbies on the highest shelf on the house.
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@ranndrew: "How much do you love me?" Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know
@onion_an: Wife: He keeps his friend close so he doesn't lose him Therapist: Not a bad thing Me [yawns and a bee flies from my mouth]: Come back Alan
@weinerdog4life: No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropped it, that's why I dropped it.