@mayamanion: My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week
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@NintenDom: We can't deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
@hmmwalsh: Twitter is perfect for men, because with men brevity is key. Beyond 140 characters they know they're going to say something wrong.
@SLorenzen62: Laundry is racist!! Must separate the whites from the colors!! No delicates allowed? Oh, whites get HOT water, everyone else gets cold!
@JediGigi: Him:You married? Me:Aww You think I'm that pretty? H:Ma'am just filling out your pape- M:SO I'M UGLY? H:I'll tell the therapist to hurry