@Manda_like_wine: My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, "I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."
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@gerryhallcomedy: My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey.
@robfee: How to make the World Cup more exciting: Refs are on stilts The ball screams when kicked Kissing is legal 1 player gets to use a car Snakes
@SuperRandomish: Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped, I assume it was made by the one person at Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt.
@Book_Krazy: Mike said he's breaking up w/ u cause you're not very smart & u have issues Me: OMG I DO NOT HAVE HIS SHOES WE DONT EVEN WEAR THE SAME SIZE