@suzieQ0007: My 4yo just noticed me trying to throw out an old, wrecked piece of Lego & by the look he gave me I'm afraid to go to sleep now.
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@LoriLuvsShoes: How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
@truegritrumble: ME: Can I borrow your car? FRIEND: You already borrowed my car. ME: *nervously* Can I borrow another one?
@FrenulumBreve: ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before. INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again.