@suzieQ0007: My 4yo just noticed me trying to throw out an old, wrecked piece of Lego & by the look he gave me I'm afraid to go to sleep now.
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@mjkspeaks: ME: [waking up from nap] HER: *looking angry* when i said i wanted to sleep with you this isn’t what i meant
@mikefossey: BuzzFeed writer (innocently): hey friends. as a friendly activity, tell me your funny anecdotes. coincidentally I have an article due soon
@NYC_Blonde: Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own.