@KateWhineHall: My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
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@bridger_w: FYI, you don't have to be a waiter in order to go in a restaurant and wander from table to table asking people, "How's everything tasting"
@DaddyJew: [getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid "Well which one is it?"
@novicefather: Wife: 2 is driving me crazy and I want to drive off a cliff. Me: No I need the car.