@DaddyJew: My 5 year old asked for a lava lamp and now I'm checking his room for drugs
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@Retacof: Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind.
@SkunkRiverNPS: Wilderness survival tip #32: To deter bears from attacking your tent, simply sprinkle your neighbor's campsite with bacon powder.
@rachelle_mandik: i'm torn between getting my own personal jesus or getting a large jesus to share with the whole table
@CleoZevach3000: Did it bother anybody else that the guy from that "Operation" game was clearly wide awake?