@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old hasn't said a word in the car after I convinced him that the volume control on our stereo ejects his car seat.
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@FeverFlave: I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date. Me: So that's a no?
@stephenjmolloy: *accidentally click on internet explorer* Internet Explorer: oh what the... HELLO. OMG! WELCOME! HERE, PLEASE USE ME AS YOUR DEFAULT BROWSER. CLICK HERE! NO, DON'T GO! PLEA-