@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old hasn't said a word in the car after I convinced him that the volume control on our stereo ejects his car seat.
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@PetrickSara: I bought jalapeño chips so I wouldn't have to share with my kids. It's not working. My daughter is just eating through the pain. She's mine
@Nikkeya08: 6 said he isn't sleeping in his room cause the tooth fairy sounds creepy but he left the tooth cuz he needs the money. -No DNA test needed
@Sassafrantz: [male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?
@1evilidiot: It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people.