@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old hasn't said a word in the car after I convinced him that the volume control on our stereo ejects his car seat.
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@lisaxy424: [in bed] Me: got a costume from the Princess Leia slave scene Him: omg yes Me: *disappears to change* *comes back dressed as Jabba the Hutt*
@markleggett: Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.
@ninjadinosaur1: I hate when I'm in a room with 3 other people, & I have to shove the entire kit kat in my mouth.