@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
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@De_ja_vu_who: I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you, Smiling You know what's coming next.. It's your turn to do the laundry
@Thynebear: [Talking w/Doc] The wife wants to try period sex "Seems unsanitary to me" I dont think u understand- *wife bursts in wearing medieval armor*
@greg_vee: If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I'm about as self-helpful as they come.
@djdarrellripley: Me: I've finally finished that jigsaw puzzle! Her: YOU DRUNK! It took you 6 months! Me: On the box it said 2 to 4 years!