@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
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@AudreyPorne: [2.13am] me: when cows die do they become cow ghosts? imagine being haunted by a cow ghost. him: *deletes my number*
@man_spach: When my cats look out the window at another cat I like to pretend they're judging and disparaging it with little British accents.