@gabemakesmusic: My 5 year plan is to get an amp for my bass. That fish sure does love his energy drinks
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@Thynebear: *cop approaches me* "have u seen this girl?" *holds up photo* "yeah I've seen her, NAKED" *hi-5* "haha but seriously shes in my trunk"
@IcyAndSpicy: Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food.
@brianbowman73: I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him cry. It was just a Nerf gun you big baby!