@wallin_monica: My 5y/o just threw a 15 min fit because she doesn't want me to get old. I had to tell her if she took a bath it would help me stay young
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@Love_bug1016: I'm Asian, but not wears a kimono, eats dogs, owns a bonsai tree, knows how to use chopsticks, waxes on waxes off, good at the math, Asian.
@simoncholland: Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?
@TedInModeration: Rips off my shirt to reveal an S on my chest that's actually remnants of last nights spaghettiO's