@copymama: My 5yo was talking incessantly in the car and my husband turned the music way up to drown her out and I fell in love all over again.
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@david8hughes: [sees huge guy at the gym] Me: do you take steroids *guy spends 15 minutes talking me thru his diet plan* Me: when do you eat the steroids
@thebeckyard: Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth.
@ShortWhiteNUgly: I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music.
@rynchantress: Computer: Hey can I restart for updates? Me: No, I'm busy. Computer: Hey it's tomorrow can I restart for updates? Me: No (A week of this later) Computer: Hey can I restart for updates? Me: FINE JUST RESTART HURRY UP Computer: Haha jk I haven't downloaded them yet :D