@Lovestained555: My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle.
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@Hormonella: Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.
@joejwest: "murder" she wrote "your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said "murd3R" she wrote, frowning
@GoldenSpirals: My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice.