@Lovestained555: My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle.
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@weinerdog4life: A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away
@daemonic3: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? I'm in a High Occupancy lane Cop: Yes...wait IS THAT A JOINT? Yeah I'm HIGH lol Cop: My bad, free to go
@lakeanagirl: I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!
@jonnysun: TERMINOTOR: come with me if u want to live ME: ok cool *just sits there* TERMINOTOR: COME WITH ME IF-- ME: ya i got it. im good right here