@AmericanGent69: My 6 year old came into the bathroom while I was using it to tell me she hates it when the dog comes into the bathroom when she's using it.
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@DirtMcTurd: My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday
@RegularFred: Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo.
@TonyFratto: I joke but this Scotland thing is nuts. I mean...imagine if Canada ever tried to secede from the U.S.
@Bipartisanism: How to stay sober during #GOPDebate drinking games: Take a shot every time someone tells the truth.