@KalvinMacleod: My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
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@Pspenny36: 7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed.
@david8hughes: So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way.
@SimplyNamedTron: One a scale of keystone light to jaeger how drunk are you sir? PANCAKE ok I need you to step out of the car
@good2go013: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1. Put some headphones in your pocket. 2. Wait one minute. Ta Da !