@KalvinMacleod: My 6 year old is telling me a story, oh wait, now he’s 9.
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@Mayhem_Monica: My boss told me to dress for the job I want; not the job I have. I'm now in a disciplinary meeting for wearing my Batman costume to work.
@TheTweetOfGod: .@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.