@VaultsOpen: My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread.
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@Playing_Dad: [At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH
@GeauxSaints79: M: Are you gonna eat that baby? Lady: What!!?! Go away you Sick-O' M: Sorry! I saw you putting it on Instagram & figured.. Never mind.
@markleggett: Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading.
@aksorojas: I just discovered that first aid kits do not include slices of pizza in it and I feel so betrayed.