@biatchppplease: My 6 yr old just asked if I'm a happy wife.. her cover is blown I think she might be working for the other side
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@iamspacegirl: In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.
@VodkaThursday: I'm putting "open bar" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers.
@atthecubicle: Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid.