@timdonakowski: My 61-year-old stepmom loves your product, Mark Zuckerberg.
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@lemonmartinis: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute
@StevenAndrais: Women Studies? im pretty good at studying women *leans against bookshelf knocking it over. Creates a domino effect that destroys t/ library*
@pseudo_fred: I'm a man with a very specific set of skills. Woodworking, mostly. And so help me, God, I'm going to find you and build you a bench.
@SardonicTart: "OMG why am I so sore?" *Flashback to me doing five push-ups yesterday* "Oh right."