@The_JRM: My 6yo daughter's teacher just gave me a "Most Improved Ponytail" award.
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@OtherDanOBrien: "Dark Side Tech Support." "Hi. My hand lightning won't work. The hate's flowing thru me, but nada." "Try turning the hate off & on again."
@novocapulum: Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not "English" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet.
@robin_991: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box.
@Jenny4ashley: I love the compliments my boss gives like "wow you're on time today" and "great job ignoring dress code again".