@The_JRM: My 6yo daughter's teacher just gave me a "Most Improved Ponytail" award.
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@The_JRM: 5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true.
@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Perfect weather tonight. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Butterflies taste with their feet. Me: Fair enough.
@sad_tree: *a dog sits down at a roulette table and pushes his life savings in chips to the center* Put it all on Grey
@itsWillyFerrell: My poem: I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. It's not a very good poem, but it's very deep.