@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.
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@JRobb773: Life is full of lovely, unexpected surprises, like watching two pigeons attack this guy on the street for no reason.
@junkyardigan: I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn't. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
@hipchkk: Last night my mom made dinner, serving up a nice plate of "You had so much potential" with a steaming side of "You shoulda married Jeff."