@Smethanie: My 8-year-old just offered me leftover cashews from his lunch, asking "Do you want these nuts?" and I'm not mature enough to be a parent.
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@TravZA: If you're going to a wedding this weekend and you see a random stranger dancing his nut off on the dance floor, I'm sorry, I lost a bet.
@SteveAmiri: July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them.
@pixelatedboat: Spiderman, Spiderman/ Does whatever a spider can/ Attends college/ Works as a photographer/ Just like a spider