@marlespo: My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits.
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@Rollmaninoz: Judge: and how does the defendant plead Lawyer: like this your honor *makes whiny voice *nooo I didn’t do any crimes* Judge: HAH do it again
@bourgeoisalien: I feel like maybe if God didn't spend all his time helping people win at sports and awards shows he'd have time to fix some shit
@IamEnidColeslaw: trying to get through to Mozart on the Ouija board I really want him to listen to the Thong Song
@Easy_Tiger__: ATTN: I'm looking for a new girlfriend Are you: 1. Between the age of 11-69? 2. Mostly female? 3. Trained to poop outside? DM for details